Before I get too far into this, I need to say something. Thank you to everyone who reads these, comments on them, shares them, etc. There's not a whole lot, at this point, I can do or that anyone can do, but it is appreciated.
Yesterday, we went back to Austin to visit with Tabby's doctor and get the results of her latest CT scan. We expected everything to be stable. Our expectations were not met. The tumors have grown. Significantly. What that means is that the last year of chemotherapy Tabby has endured has done nothing more than hold it at bay. It hasn't ben successful in fighting it. We are all very disappointed.
So what does that mean? First, back into chemotherapy for Tabby, but this time without the "hooded nightmare" cisplaten, or the torture-drug nulasta. She's using a drug called Taxol, and will be infused with it once a week for, likely, the rest of her life. In two weeks, we look again to see if there needs to be adjustments made on the dosage, if she's allergic to it, or if it is having any effect whatsoever. This new drug does have a lower success rate than the first. If this one fails, there's one other, and it has a lower percentage still.
The doctor was very clear: She told Tabby that there would come a point where Tabby would have to make a decision. People who are not in chemotherapy do tend to feel better than those who are not, but they live longer. Tabby nodded her head and said "Okay. Let's fight."
Define "tenacity." Look it up in any dictionary, and you should find a photo of my wife.
There's not much else for me to say at this point. I continue to watch over her, try to provide comfort for her and my girls, and keep doing what I do because the world, in general, doesn't give a damn. No matter what happens, the world will keep turning, bills will still need to be paid, and people will still expect things to get done. And someone has to do them. So I'm doing them.
I was asked what effect this had on our day to day lives. I can't even begin to answer that question without sounding like whining, so I won't. I'll just say there's been a huge impact, the likes of which I hope no one I know will ever endure. Emotionally, financially, psychologically... Cancer doesn't just claim one person. It claims families. It claims friends. Those of us that must, do what we must.
Tabby doesn't have an expiration date. She's planning on fighting until she can't anymore. How long that will be is anyone's guess. And I'll be the guy in her corner screaming at her to get back up and fight. Because I love her. And because that's what we do.
SAJ
You know I have your collective backs. I am angry, angry, angry at cancer. It can suck my wooha. I love you all.
ReplyDeleteTab is a helluva woman. Always in my thoughts. Fight the fight. Stay strong!
ReplyDelete~Sheldon
I am still praying for you, for Tabby, for your whole family.
ReplyDeleteMany, many thoughts and prayers. For strength and whatever you need. You don't need love. There's lots of that surrounding both of you. I can feel it from here.
ReplyDeleteYou're both amazing people.
ReplyDeleteWe haven't stopped praying for you and Tabby and the girls and we won't stop. Rene', Roger, Colin, and Chloe
ReplyDelete::HUGS:: All of them. As many as you need, and all the positivity that I can muster along with them.
ReplyDeletePraying with all my might! Doing my best to support you as you battle through this. I can't find the words to tell you how much I want things to turn around for you.
ReplyDeleteLauren
I continue to hope for the best, and wish you and Tabby continued strength. Screw cancer.
ReplyDeleteAdding to collective prayers! May He grant you strength of spirit, mind, and body to endure, and a peace that goes beyond human understanding.
ReplyDeleteCancer is the worst thief BASTARD and I wish we could stab it in the face. I'm hoping and praying for health strength and healing for you all.
ReplyDelete-donna munro
Scott, my thoughts are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had words that would really help. I am praying for Tabby and you all. Each day is a gift and your love is a treasure. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteI have nothing to say except, I am praying for ya. I am here for ya.
ReplyDeleteThe word cancer strikes fear in me . Both o my parents have had long and damaging struggles with it ,my mother lost her life to it. I understand your struggles .praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending waves of mental hugs to you both.
ReplyDeleteI wish you and your family continued strength to keep fighting. Let me know if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteLove you Scott, and your family by association. Sending lots of hugs and inappropriate jokes in an attempt to lighten your mental load. I'm so sorry your family is suffering, and wish there was more we could do to help. Again, sending lots and lots of hugs.
ReplyDeleteScott, Tabby is in my prayers, as are you.
ReplyDelete... Sharon
You all are in my thoughts and prayers...Gina
ReplyDeleteScott-- you and Tabby are both amazing, strong people and that in itself is something to admire. Keep fighting and know that I'm sending all the love and prayers in the world to you both. <3
ReplyDeleteI wish I had something better or more helpful to say than that I'm so sorry you have to go through such a fucking nightmare. For what it's worth, from all your writing on the subject, you're handling it more gracefully, articulately, and bravely than I (and probably many people) would. Keep fighting and we'll send good vibes your way. Peace.
ReplyDeleteSending my love and prayers to you, Tabby, and your girls.
ReplyDeleteI'm late coming to this post, Scott, but you and Tabby are often in our thoughts.
ReplyDelete-Heidi