Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Yesterday, we went back to Austin to visit with Tabby's doctor and get the results of her latest CT scan. We expected everything to be stable. Our expectations were not met. The tumors have grown. Significantly. What that means is that the last year of chemotherapy Tabby has endured has done nothing more than hold it at bay. It hasn't ben successful in fighting it. We are all very disappointed.
So what does that mean? First, back into chemotherapy for Tabby, but this time without the "hooded nightmare" cisplaten, or the torture-drug nulasta. She's using a drug called Taxol, and will be infused with it once a week for, likely, the rest of her life. In two weeks, we look again to see if there needs to be adjustments made on the dosage, if she's allergic to it, or if it is having any effect whatsoever. This new drug does have a lower success rate than the first. If this one fails, there's one other, and it has a lower percentage still.
The doctor was very clear: She told Tabby that there would come a point where Tabby would have to make a decision. People who are not in chemotherapy do tend to feel better than those who are not, but they live longer. Tabby nodded her head and said "Okay. Let's fight."
Define "tenacity." Look it up in any dictionary, and you should find a photo of my wife.
There's not much else for me to say at this point. I continue to watch over her, try to provide comfort for her and my girls, and keep doing what I do because the world, in general, doesn't give a damn. No matter what happens, the world will keep turning, bills will still need to be paid, and people will still expect things to get done. And someone has to do them. So I'm doing them.
I was asked what effect this had on our day to day lives. I can't even begin to answer that question without sounding like whining, so I won't. I'll just say there's been a huge impact, the likes of which I hope no one I know will ever endure. Emotionally, financially, psychologically... Cancer doesn't just claim one person. It claims families. It claims friends. Those of us that must, do what we must.
Tabby doesn't have an expiration date. She's planning on fighting until she can't anymore. How long that will be is anyone's guess. And I'll be the guy in her corner screaming at her to get back up and fight. Because I love her. And because that's what we do.