Thursday, June 20, 2013

In Memorium

Tabatha Leigh (Piszczyk) Johnson (1971-2013)

If you're reading this, it's because you either knew my wife or know me, which means, at least in some way, you know her.  That being the case, you've been made a better person.  Not by me, but by Tabby.  There are all different types of people in the world.  Selfish, selfless, kind or mean, but only the rarest of people make you better simply by virtue of having known them.  They are the type of people who make you proud of yourself, who give you a warm feeling whenever you enter their presence, whose laugh can brighten an otherwise dismal day.  Tabby was such a person.

If you never had the pleasure of meeting her in person, I grieve for you.  You never got to experience her laugh, her smile, her passion.  You never got to be hugged by her (and let me just say that even at the end, she was one of the best huggers on the planet).  You never got to feel was it was like to have your soul fed with love in the way that only she could.  Her friends were lifelong, and fiercely loyal, and for good reason.

Tabby never turned anyone away.  Never.  Misfits as, I'm sure, we all were when we met her, she greeted us all with a smile and a warm hug and treated us all as family.  Everyone, celebrities and normal people alike, remembered her.  Everyone loved her.

If you came to our house, there were always a few things you could depend on.  First, no one ever went away from our house hungry.  We might've not had much, but Tabby loved to cook and would cook up a storm for anyone who had emptiness in their tummies.  When we married, I weighed 142 pounds soaking wet and had 6% body fat.  I like to blame my weight gain on her cooking, but it was more than that.  It was contentment.  It was love.  It was comfort.

I tell the story often, to anyone who will listen, but I'm telling it again.  I first met Tabby in Junior High School.  I was dating her best friend at the time.  I lost track of her for about a decade, but found her again in Junior College.  I asked her out, and she turned me down flat.  At the time, she had a boyfriend.  It took me a whole year to get up the nerve to ask her out again, and that time she said yes.  Our first date was on Halloween, 1992.  I dressed as a drag queen (I make an ugly woman), she as a (beautiful) rodeo queen.  We were never apart after that.  By Thanksgiving of that same year, I'd asked her to marry me.  By Christmas, we told her parents, and by April, we were married.  Less than six months after our first date together, we were married.  And despite what many thought, we stood the test of time.  Twenty years we had.  Were they all great?  I'd be lying if I said they were.  But I would not change a single moment.  I wouldn't rewrite a single second.  Not one.  Not those times.

She is survived by our beautiful daughters, Anna and Zoe, her brothers Cameron and Aaron, her mom and dad Ruth and Don, her sister Althea, and by me.  To say that we are all devastated is an understatement.  To say that I will never fully recover would be laughable, were it not so true.

Whatever your faith, chances are you have some idea of an afterlife.  For Christians, it's Heaven.  For Pagans, it's Summerland.  Some call it Elysium, and others call it by names that do not fall easily from the lips.  No matter what your belief, wherever Tabatha is, it is paradise.  Not because our religion says so, or because of some prejudiced idea of where she would go, but simply by virtue of her being there.  No matter where she is, just because she is there, it becomes paradise.  She did it here on Earth.  I have no reason to believe she'd do otherwise elsewhere.

Look around and realize the truth of this statement:  Because you knew her, you are today a better person.  She made me a better person.  She believed in me, made me see myself as someone worth loving, and gave me the confidence and strength to do whatever I set my mind to.  Because I knew her, I am a better person.  I will always be grateful to her for making me into the man I am today.

Goodnight, Tabby.  I love you so very much.  I do not grieve for you, but for myself and for the rest of us who are left behind.  There is a great hole in my life where you were, an empty chair at my table.  I will not get over you.  I will always miss you.  And I envy those who you meet in the afterlife.  Even they will be made better people for having known you.

SAJ

55 comments:

  1. This is beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  2. Oh Scott, there are tears in my eyes--sorrow for such a loss, and joy for twenty years of love. The world is a better place for having you and Tabby and the love you shared in it.

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  3. Scott, I am so deeply sorry to read this. Hugs and much love to you and your family.

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  4. I'm so glad I got to meet Tabby and be able to feel her love for all of humanity. May her paradise be deserving of such a special lady. love and prayers to you Scott & the rest of your family.

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  5. Scott, I am so sorry for your loss. Can't even imagine the pain. Blessings to you and your girls.

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  6. Scott, what a beautiful tribute! Tabby would be so proud. I wish I'd had the privilege of meeting Tabby. I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Know that your friends are with you and sending their love.

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  7. Scott, I'm sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute. Although she's no longer with you physically, Summerland is not so far away. Peace and blessings to you and yours.

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  8. I am so sorry. This is a beautiful tribute. Hugs and love to you and yours.

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  9. That was beautiful Scott. I'm so sorry for the loss but I am quite sure that in whatever wonderland Tabby finds herself in now, I believe that this has found her and has put a smile upon her face.

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  10. It took me some time to see through the tears. I didn't know her but she had to have been absolutely amazing. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  11. That could very well be the most beautiful thing I've ever read. So true too. Her smile and laugh could light up a room in an instant. She partied us all under the table many many nights. She was one of the kindest and most genuine people I've ever known. May she rest easy and keep on smiling. We love you Scott. Hang in there.

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  12. Oh Scott! I was there in Jr High running with the same group as you, Tabby, Kim, Christina, and Tommy. I remembering the two of you meeting. And all 3 of you hang out together on weekends sometimes. I remember coming home for Christmas and hearing you got married to Tabby and being so happy you found each other again. I am so so sorry this has happened. Words can't be found right now. Please know that you and your girls are in my thoughts and if you need anything just ask. Diana (Musgrave) Houser

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  13. Scott, I'm so sorry for the loss of your great love.

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  14. Scott, I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  15. Scott, I am so sorry for the loss of one of the greatest souls, I have ever known. I grieve with you over her loss. I wish you peace that she showed us all, Love that she shared with us all, and the joys of her memories. May they comfort you always. Your Friend Always.

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  16. I am so sorry to hear of Tabby's passing. She was one of the most amazing people I had ever met and the love you two shared radiated around you for all to see. I don't even have the words to express to you how sad I am to hear about the passing of this beautiful soul, but I hope you can find peace in the memories you share with those you love. We were all blessed to have known her. <3

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  17. Scott,
    I'm so sorry. There are no words, so just know I'm sending love.
    Donna Munro

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  18. Scott-I am very sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman. You were blessed to have experienced a love that others dream of finding.

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  19. Scott, I am so very sorry. You touched my life and therefore your sorrow affects me. The world is a poorer place without your Tabby.

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  20. I remember looking forward to seeing you and Tabby at World Horror, but things had progressed too quickly. I was glad I got to meet her and see the two of you interact together and experience the visual of the love you shared. Wherever she is I know she will be waiting for you while she plays jokes on everyone around her. Take each day as it comes Scott. The pain never goes away, you just learn how to manage it better as time goes by.

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  21. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. :( take care.

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  22. I was honored to be that junior high school friend that you dated and I was truly blessed to have her as that best friend. I will always love you both in life as well as in death. I pray for you and your family, and rejoice in the fact that we shall be reunited in the afterlife where we will once again be whole and healthy and be able to join with he again. All my love Kim.

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  23. My heartfelt condolences and prayers. May our Lord comfort you in this time of inexpressible grief.

    MaryAnn Diorio

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  24. Will it be weird if I tell you how glad I am to feel so cheated?

    What I mean is, I'm glad to have even a sliver of an idea of who Tabby was, and a profound sense of how much I missed out on. Thank you so much for sharing her with those of us who didn't get the full firsthand experience - we are absolutely poorer for it.

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  25. Hanna VandergrifftAugust 31, 2013 at 6:59 PM

    Ant Tabby Never Failed To Make Everyone Around Her So Happy And Full Of Joy .. She Will Be Missed Like Crazy , But She Will Be Here With Us Every Passing Day .. She Asked Not To Say Goodbye So We Will All See Her Soon . I Love You All , Hugs And Kisses To You , Anna And Zoey . I Hope To See You All Soon ..
    - Hanna Vandergrifft ..

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  26. {{{{{Scott, Zoe, Anna, and all the rest of the family}}}}}}
    My deepest sympathies for your loss. I only just saw this today but have wondered every day since the last update I had and have been sending healing energies and love the entire time to all of you. Know that all your friends far and wide continue to send their love, comfort,love, and healing energies for as long as you need them!

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  27. This is a beautiful tribute. I'm so very sorry for your loss. In my church we say, "May her memory be eternal," and I'm sure with you as keeper, it will be.

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  28. I am sitting here trying to think of something...anything that I can say to help comfort. I have nothing. I am truly at a loss. My heart hurts. I know that I am a better man for having known Tabby. I am left with only, I am sorry. I am sorry for your loss and the world's loss. Tabby is a great one. And the time before we see her again will be far too long.

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  29. I'm very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

    J. Bigelow

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  30. The story of your love is beautiful and touching, Scott. Thinking of you during your most difficult time.

    Angie Bulloch

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  31. A lovely memorial, Scott. I am so sorry for your (and your family's) loss.

    Bernard

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  32. Just BEAUTIFUL just as Tabby is on the inside and out !! it is fitting to her and her life was on Earth and with us !!! Tabby will be missed , love you sis , your big bro Joe Clifton !!

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  33. I'm so sorry Scott. I'm sorry I never got to meet Tabby, but I'm so grateful you had her in your life. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  34. Scott, I am so sorry for your loss. Condolences from our family to you and yours. Her star will shine a little brighter now.

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  35. My thoughts and sorrow are with you and your family Scott. I know how greatly she was loved and how greatly she'll be missed. I am so sorry.

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  36. I'm so sorry, Scott. She was truly a special person and the world is a lesser place without her.

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  37. Dear Ruth,
    I know you don't know who I am. I am a friend of Barbara Wilm and have been praying for you and Tabatha for months now. I am so sorry for your pain. I know your beautiful baby is Gods arms unfortunately leaving yours empty. Fill your mind with all the beauty that is your daughter.
    I will continue to keep your family in my prayers.
    Cindy M

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  38. Scott, I'm so sorry to hear this. Tabby is a beautiful woman and together you two are infinite love personified, even beyond this battle. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

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  39. Scott, my heart goes out to you, your family, and your friends in this time of loss. Your life was clearly touched by an amazing person who will forever be a part of who you are.

    Lori (Smith) B.

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  40. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    Tricia Tighe

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  41. I was so very sad to hear this news, Scott. I wish you peace and strength in the days ahead. I'll be thinking about you and your family.

    Susan Hanson

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  42. I am so sorry. She was beautiful inside and out and we are all lucky to have been touched by her while she was here. All my love to you and yours.

    <3
    Venessa

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  43. Oh, Scott, we're terribly sorry about your crushing loss. She was a splendid person. We miss you both in the English Department.

    Paul and Robin

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  44. The Summerlands are richer, and we on Earth are poorer. May the time remaining until you and Tabby are reunited be as the blink of an eye. All my love to you, and your daughters.

    Amy Eoff

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  45. Scott, this is a beautiful tribute. If you need anything, say the word.

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  46. I wish you and your family didn't have to go through this. Good luck. Bless

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  47. Scott,

    Your family and I go back a long way. You trained with me, Anna trained with me and Zoe is training with me. I thank Tabby for giving me the opportunity to work with you all. I too will miss her. When times get tough, remember you always have your Kaju family.

    Professor Baker.

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  48. My thoughts are with you and your family. I may not understand completely what you are going through, but I have an idea. My prayers go out to you. BIG HUGS...

    Hithia

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  49. Jason and I were both so very sorry to hear about your loss, Scott. We know how much you loved her.

    In sincerest sympathy,
    Heidi

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  50. Scott, i read this post the day after tabby died and i was too overcome with emotion to comment then. so tonight after \Joel called and let me know that service went so well today , i decided to re-visit your blog and read again your words about Tabby. i am so sorry for your loss and so thankful that you guys found eaach other! Tabby was a young girl when Mike and i married, but even then her bubbly personality and "dolphin" laugh was so much fun to be around. she truly loved life,even when life wasn't easy. i hope as the days turn to months your immediate pain will be replaced with a sense of satisfaction that you and she lived! and as long as you have your children, a huge part of Tabby is right there with you every day and you can anchor to them. i remember well when Anna was born and the joy she brought to the whole family and I'm sure Zoey did the same. they will be so proud of their parents one day when they can look back on your memories and this blog that chronicles the vey defintion of strength. blessings and prayers are being sent your way tonight. thank you for sharing the twilight of Tabbys' life here on earth with us and providing for so many an avenue for the greif that greeted her passing. love ti you and the girls....jeannie gilbert huston bruce

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